IT HAS BEGUN!

 * Nate Dawgg kicks your shin
 * Mister Monkey kicks your chair
 * Nate Dawgg kicks your beard
 * Mister Monkey summons chuck norris from his beard and has him roundhouse your coffee cup
 * Nate Dawgg summons bruce lee from his coffee cup and he judo chops the shit out of chuck norris AND THEN does a 3rd degree double flying dragon kick to your beard
 * Mister Monkey summons Lui Kang from chuck norris' remains and has him bicycle kick bruce lee in his tiny head
 * Nate Dawgg summons Shang Tsung to murder Liu Kang's little brother in an elaborate plot to get him to forfeit the rights to Earth to the Emperor Shao Khan BUT pre-warns Shang Tsung of Liu Kang's growing power and tutelage from Lord Raiden, allowing Shang Tsung to murder Raiden before he can complete his training, making Liu Kang a weak fighter who is easily defeated in the first tournament of Mortal Kombat.  After suffering this crushing defeat, Shao Khan invades Earth Realm with his armies from Outworld and claims the entire planet as a slave planet.
 * Mister Monkey pbbts on the whole lot of em

Sometimes It's So Hard

Nerdy AND weird.

xx38] Nate Dawgg: /\Oo_oO/\
xx38] Mister Monkey: spiders
xx38] Mister Monkey: kill it
xx38] Nate Dawgg: no u
xx38] Nate Dawgg: that is hernando
xx38] Nate Dawgg: and he is beneficial
xx38] Mister Monkey: hernando spiders
xx38] Mister Monkey: kill it
xx38] Nate Dawgg: NO
xx38] Nate Dawgg: he eats brain mites
xx39] Mister Monkey: O
xx39] Mister Monkey: M
xx39] Mister Monkey: G
xx39] Mister Monkey: brain eating spiders
xx39] Mister Monkey: kill it
xx39] Nate Dawgg: NO!
xx39] Nate Dawgg: Let him make a funnel web in your ear!
xx39] Nate Dawgg: *scritch scritch scritch*
xx39] * Mister Monkey runs away terrified
xx39] * Mister Monkey stomps on his ear
xx40] Nate Dawgg: *hernando chases after you squeaking quietly
xx40] * Mister Monkey hops in his space ship
xx40] * Mister Monkey nukes the site from orbit
xx41] Nate Dawgg: *Hernando was spliced with cockroach DNA and is able to withstand nuclear attack
xx41] Nate Dawgg: /\Oo_oO/\
xx41] * Mister Monkey does warp 6 in the opposite direction
xx41] Mister Monkey: MAKE IT SO
xx41] Nate Dawgg: *Hernando has a borg cube
xx42] Nate Dawgg: Just let him eat the brain mite.
xx42] Nate Dawgg: It's much easier.
xx42] * Mister Monkey has a Q
xx42] Nate Dawgg: *Hernando has a Guinan
xx42] * Mister Monkey has a ted danson
xx42] Nate Dawgg: /\OO_OO/\
xx43] Nate Dawgg: *Hernando runs
xx43] * Mister Monkey attacks Hernando with tom selek's mustache
xx43] Nate Dawgg: _________ *squish*
xx43] Nate Dawgg: YOU SONOFA
xx43] Mister Monkey: BWAHAHAHAHA
xx43] Mister Monkey: OW
xx44] Mister Monkey: stupid brain mite

Therapeutic Barrel Rolling

xx05] Friend: nathan, have you ever considered the benefits of doing a barrel roll?
xx07] Me: It has been something I thought about in the past, but how would I get started?  It seems too hard for me.
xx08] Friend: well you're in luck!
xx08] Me: :D
.
.
.
xx19] Me: you left me hanging
xx19] Me: I was all excited about hearing about the benefits of barrel rolling
xx19] Me: Now I'm going to commit suicide
xx20] Friend: what are you talking about
xx20] Friend: barrel rolling?
xx20] Me: oh god I'm losing my mind
xx20] Friend: i would never say that, don't you ever say that to me
xx20] Me: it's all coming apart
xx20] Me: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY
xx21] Me: MY WIFE IS SLEEPING WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S COUSIN WHO IS BLACK!
xx22] Me: MY DAUGHTER PUTS LO LLYPOPS INTO CAT'S VAGINAS!
xx22] Me: my whole life is a lie.
xx22] NMe: *sniffles* I wish I knew how to barrel roll T_T
xx26] Me: I can't even flush the commode without thinking of eunice now.
xx27] Friend: wtf daug
xx28] Me: I'm sorry man
xx28] Me: I didn't mean to unload all that on you
xx28] Me: I just got to thinking about barrel rolls and I kind of lost track of myself.